米修 米修 米修。。。

hmm.. this week was.. rather fast.. i guess..

was in camp.. sick previously.. but the illness stayed with me since last week.. my gastric became worse and eventually had an acid reflux and caused my throat to get burned and i am down with real bad inflammation.. was having real headache and small feverish feeling.. went to see doc and got medicine for inflammation/cough and swelling in nose throat and i don't know anywhere else..

and we went to alvin's birthday party ytd.. hmm.. its really good to have so many friends that are so supportive.. thou u are at times forgotten.. but its good when people still remember the times when you laughed with them together and reminiscing the past.. and here i wonder if one day i ask them out. for a gathering.. how would mine be like.. i guess many will not turn up..

over the weekend.

dear dear came over my place to stay.. i'm glad. i'm happy. but there's always many 舍不得

and to me.. the time together.. may have been 24 hours a day but still.. its never enough..

part of this feeling inside me.. has been stuck for real long time..

this feeling of rejection.. i don't know. but i just realised.. the feeling really.. is very very bad..

the feeling of giving up to ask for things already.. i know its when sometimes.. people should still try.. but when trying gets hard.. its really difficult to even imagine the thought of having the chances to appreciate..

i know this is a sudden part of what i wanted to post.. cause i felt really.. empty suddenly..

from young i have always been.. rejected. neglected.. thou it might be seen at it is this way.. but to me.. inside my heart.. it has always been this way.. i felt very very lonely.. but at the same time.. i feel normal to being lonely. like this is a usual feeling that i won't feel bad either..

im just waiting.. to get over with my nsf life and get on.. i hope my anxiety or depression will really get over... i don't want another blackout time of my life.. my experience had been enough.. i don't want another one..

♥Ran ♠Miki ♣Su ♦Dia @ 9:01 PM