a simple life.. im in since young.. do i deserve to live?? i'll let u as a reader to see bah~~

since young.. had a family of 2 brothers... i dun remember much abt my age from 1 to 4 yrs old... but.. i do remember some more imptortant factors in my life..

1stly.. since young.. like ani other kid would haf... Toys.. i dun haf... i haf to use my little amt of $$ where little is reali small.. a $1 a day.. where a plate of noodles is $1 and drinks is 30 to 50 cents.. i skipped my recess juz to save some $$ to buy my own things i wanted.. its not that my family has no $$.. i find that they do not rmb my existance...

when im a child... i nvr had a toy of my own except saving $$. so.. i try to ask for them... but they will always sae.. do well in ur exams and i will gif u the toy u want.. 1st time i got an A for my maths in primary 3.. they said.. ok.. u get an A for chinese i buy u.. and i tried my best and got it for my test.. and my trust for them ended.. slowly.. i became desperate... so i steal from my mother's wallet... at 1st it was few cents.. den it increased.. until i was fully confident..i began to steal more.. it wasn't in small amts.. i steal reali a lot.. the most was.. one shot 200 bucks...

but things nvr go our ways.. i was discovered... that i stole the money... my mother scolded mi.. and i nvr knew wad was wrong wif it.. cuz i nvr get wad i wanted unlike other kids..

den one day.. one unfortunate day.. my mother got breast cancer... at that age of 11 i understood it was an incurable disease.. it was for the 1st time.. i felt the lost of something i nvr cared for.. she was there although i nvr noticed.. i always hoped to b alone... but.. for the 1st time i felt lonely in my heart.. i cried.. when i got home after visiting her in the hosipital.. luckily.. the doctor said she can still live for a lifespan of 10+ yrs.. cuz its not veri serious and not veri early...

den.. slowly i entered sec sch life... since sec 1.. i was like a pest(for that i know) in my class.. and i looked like a nerd.. cuz of my hair which is a botak.. i was someone who people disliked a lot due to my actions.. but i tried veri hard to change.. but people nvr gif mi a chance.. i was backstabbed.. people nvr want to interact wif mi.. come and find mi juz to take advantage of mi.. wad is the reason for mi to live??

that time.. i was in sec 1.. i wrote in a journal book in which miss pang told us to do.. and write our daily thoughts into it.. and den.. i wrote that.. i felt tired of this world.. this world has no one that acknowledged mi... why am i living for?? i reali felt like dying everynight.. but i thought am i selfish to think that way??

den.. mrs tan seow cher... she came to mi to consult mi... she told mi abt many things.. many reasons of life.. life it self.. has no reason.. its or us to find a reason or something interesting to live for.. i understood that.. but i still nvr wanted to believed it..

so.. i spend my days.. everyday after school outside... at the basketball.. seeing how people played( not able to playcuz i was suky and people disliked mi) den i went to those community clubs de bbal courts to see how people played.. and tried playing wif them.. and learned a lot till i was in sec 3.. i was different totally in sec 3.. cuz i changed.. a lot.. i nvr talk that much.. and.. more importantly. i grew my hair back.. and.. i am not a weak player in bball animore.. and people decided to gave mi a change to plae wif them again..

but.. someone back stabbed mi. i dun wan to mention the name.. but i know who it is... but i had my own frens. but no true frens when i reali nided one.. they will come.. until i knw a gd brother of mine now.. christina.. she changed my life.. she change the way i look at this world of nothing.. haha~~ i did fall for her.. but soon we both know that we are not meant for each other as bf and gf.. but as gd brothers..

and... i went to sec 4.. i found a girl.. whos was so interesting. haha~~ a girl i 1st time find her so unique... her thinking.. her actions.. nvr went out of my mind.. although i knew a for a long time.. i find a nice girl to chat wif.. i nvr know i liked her at all.. perhaps.. its all fate i guess?? and then.. i told her i liked her.. cuz one of my fren told mi to go for wad i like.. and dun waste the chance..

and luckily.. she had gd feelings for mi 2.. perhaps.. my life is changing better?? and then.. we were together... until we had much arguments.. for small matter i seriously think it wud not haf been such a big problem.. and i still like her now.. i'll talk abt my love thingy on the next bah~~ haha~~ sho... gd byee...

♥Ran ♠Miki ♣Su ♦Dia @ 8:37 PM