finally, i haf less stress le.. i nid to rest. but i cannot. latr she will feel guilty.. im veri sick. . nv eat one day.. nv slp for 3 days. took many medicines for my weak body, even i think my body cannot accept the medicine le. but i haf no last.. saying this out i think i will feel better.. haiz.. feel like vomitting, but nothing for me to vomit..

2 days ago.. when i was veri unwell alrdi. i had been thinking of what to do.. shud i try anot.. but i kept on thinking that everyone dislikes me.. i am useles.. mayby im useless after all.. but then.. someone important to me.. asks me what happened to me.. but i nv sae anything.. but i reali got things not just words can express. than i ask.. u think im weird?

she said yes. and said im nt being me.

i had a long thought of it.. wad am i doing.. this is nt wad han chuan will do.. han chuan always has people who dislike and likes him, how he took it in the past?

i actually was somewhere wrong in my thoughts. i am too afraid too lose everything within the class.. like the chances to go out together, especially time to be with her.

than i thought. if im the normal han chuan, i wun care abt such lame things. i will just do what i wan and care and do what i think is something i need. i took too much time to understand this..

this may be too late.. but i think.. i should nt give up. this is the normal han chuan. who hates faulty thinkings. hate hesitating attitudes. hates himself being a useless person.

then i did something i nv thought i wud do. i confessed. i tried. to say things within the shortest mins. i tried to calm down the situation. where its in a nice pace. and say.. i hope that wad i said.. went thru her brain and she could think normally.

today. im veri sick le.. so sick i haf no str to walk much. talk much.. and i kept on feel like vomiting but i nv had anything in the stomach for me to vomit at all. shivering badly when im alrdi in a thick jacket for near 0 degrees de..

cannot let her feel sad cuz im sick. this is nt a gd thing to happen. she will b stressed. and may be made to do things she least expect she would do.

i hope everything goes well.. and things doesn't worsen. we are grown ups. we shud b able to understand that love is different from frenship, when love dun last, frenship is there. even if for me and that guy, nt that i dun like his name, i dun wanna expose that name. i know we can still be frens.

thats all for today bah.. time to go relax.

♥Ran ♠Miki ♣Su ♦Dia @ 9:29 AM