lately.. things have been getting out of hand.

i admit. i am weak hearted at times with certain situations.

but i do not admit that i will leave things as it is.

i can't stand the feeling of being weak.

i've been weak for 20 years of my past.

let this year be the difference. none other than this time will ever let things go out of hand after this.

i found the problem and the cause that is actually causing me to feel bad.

let this be the point where i turn the tables around.

i will show myself a path of light where i can find myself in the place i want to be.

a weak man that is having the will to grow.

let me call out to myself once more.

i am Cai HanChuan. i name myself an english name Rell.

i want to be successful in life which i believe i can reach what i aimed for as years to come.



today.. i breakdown in the camp. i don't really understand why this is actually happening to me. i admit that i might be suffering a lot of my mental state and feelings. i doubt i can still control them as well as before which i was standing on stage and looking at the crowds of people singing and performing to people.. i want to be a shining person whom people will remember me of in the years to come at the last of my life. my will is to live a glorious life.

i know that facing the problems is the only way of solutions. but i will make my solutions. be it difficult of easy. i will make it out. i will prove that i have to will that even lightnings that cut skies shall never be able to make my will become bent.

dear dear. ps. i didn't really wanted to make you worry. im a lot better now. =) trust me.. let this be over 1st. and i will turn and grow. into an even stronger man that before.

♥Ran ♠Miki ♣Su ♦Dia @ 7:25 PM