hi all. long time no post le

i had a nice time with dear lately.. i bet dear missed me too much. and made dear worried too much for me.. duno how much tears had come out from her eyes just for my sake..

the bdae celebration is super gd!! i love dear de presents. hahas.. actually.. u are the best present i could ever have.. i nv had such a feeling of being treasured by someone. its a super sweet feeling.. im so touched my tears actually fell down now by just thinking back.. i really appreciate all the things u did. =) dear ur de best!! >.<

dear is super gd le.. u did very well to make me happy.. what dear did so far is sweet, its sincere, i appreciate it. and i know how u feel for me. i feel like im no where gd either. especially with my body like this and my mind thinking wrongly.. i hope u get what i meant. hahas.. since that day b4 entering army i've been feeling bad over that thing.. hmm.. till now.. maybe i still feel a bit weird.. but! i hope i nv do anything wrong so far, and i really wish for dear to smile and be de cutest and happiest whenever your time is spent with me =)

all i could do for dear so far is only making you worry.. i oso duno wads wrong with my body why is it failing.. im sorry.. but i'll be fine in time.. so no worries!!

i won't leave u. NOT YET. for that. i promise =)
and i know dear will make sure my promise come true too right?

i got OOT-ed le.

thanks to some heart problem..

ok. dear has been worrying for some time..

time to expose everything to everyone..

i think i know what and why i will get to feel pain. cuz i used the wrong way too breathe when i 1st ran some super far distance and continous way to run.. hmmm.. and i know what i injured..

my heart.. i feel like its getting weaker + painful lately.. hmm but i'll be fine. definitely.

dear nothing much to worry..

but truthfully. im experience weak faint spells when i try to walk faster while talking + running/walking up the stairs + taking heavy stuffs to move around + anything of moving with constraining my chest muscles.

been a bit more emo. hahas. cuz im nt feeling very well.. sometimes i can't feel my pulse of my heart.. im afraid to leave dear only.. hmm..

and mum tried to ask to see some priest/monk..

wow. my mother oso nv know abt how im feeling that person actually know whats wrong with me and know how my pain is coming from too.. and say im nt feeling very well.. hahas.

well.. there's nothing to hide now le. i know im tired. i know i can stop breathing for some time without feeling any thing wrong. hahas.. scary i know.. but hmm.. i nid to live on.. =) there's simply too much things i nid to hang on and live forward for.

i want my 7 yrs to come.
i want to sing more songs for dear.
i want to have childrens with her for us to live longer together.
i want to wake up having dear beside me!! >.<>

and. the talks i always have with u, its nt something that is 不切实际的 all comes from within my heart.. im nt doing and saying things cuz i like to cheat people feelings.
what i say and do. seriously comes from within my heart.. hope dear really understands.
i will wanna marry dear some day de. just. im weak now. i know. i'll learn. i'll improve. i'll be better.. thats my wish list of my life..

[dear i love you lots]

♥Ran ♠Miki ♣Su ♦Dia @ 10:41 PM