"Avril's Asset here!!"

haiz i can't face it that she dun like me at all. no love no feelings just a friend. why can't i get the idea and just give her up and find another girl like any other guy friends of mine? why am i so stubborn in loving one girl all the while? why am i such a foolish man that don't know what is giving up at the correct moment?

lets talk abt that day what i did..

i brought the cake to her hse at 11.30++ i nt sure when and when i brought it in. she is like so surprised. and i nv told her anything.. and i prepared a present for her but nv took it out.. and at 12 i we blew the candles for her..

lights were out and i took out the present after i acted like i went toilet. i actually took out the present and made it look veri nice.. when she blew her candles and made her wish. she open her eyes and the present is in front of her.

she is even more surprised that ever.. what i wanted to do is something she will b veri happy after being so sad for a long time. its a necklace she once sae is nice when we were window shopping. and i bet she nv expect i would do something like that. and indeed. she nv thought i would be this "thoughtful"

and she told me. she is so touched. but if its someone else. anyone else did wad i did. she would seriously fall in love with that special someone. but when it comes to me. she told me. im just too much of a friend already. if to make her behave and treat me like a bf. she would b so out of thought and can laugh just thinking at it.

at that point. the cracking in my heart was heard once again. and my head bend down pushing against my pillow once again.

in her thinking. im just a guy whom she gets easily irritated just being with and she can't expect any form of happiness being with me.

i feel so much like a failure no one could ever thought of. there are many girls out there. why am i such an idiot to only think of her? haiz. even i dun understand what i am thinking..

i always ask myself. why i can't i nt treat her this well? yet my behavior still treats her very well.. better than anyone else. yet she can't see nor understand.

one more thing she told me about is that. she can't treat me as a bf cuz i have nv revealed my feelings. the way i keep on finding her is that i look for her mother 1st. den wait till she gets back home den i'll get to talk to her more. thats something i always did and that was the reason.

just to take a look at her and know how she is actually doing. and i didn't kno i was trying to get satisfied with such a simple thing.

thinking back. im just tearing as i type the painful words off the monitor.

here i thought of a poem.

that wind that embraces u..
u love that wind.
but like the way it embraces u..
u can never be with the wind.
as it breathes through each and every part of you.
it goes away from you when u least notice it.

im just like the wind that brings u comfort and yet u only know that u wont take it too hard even thou im nt there for u.

♥Ran ♠Miki ♣Su ♦Dia @ 3:34 PM