"Avril's Asset here!!"

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

another day. of

today was quite nice.. =) a little amount of work and a whole lot of time for myself =)

read forum and saw a poor guy having a gf that is giving him a real hard time of his life..

say..

he tries to satisfy his gf and no matter how or what he do... the girl gets fed up easily.. hmmm which i find almost all women have similar characteristics bah?

but then.. the sad part comes.. even if he do small things and buy gifts. the girl don't show any form of unhappiness.. or even when he purposely try to make his gf jealous it doesn't work at all..

and when in public or at home he tries to talk to the gf about how he is feeling.. the girl says. hey even my mother oso nv shout at me or tell me what to do. what are you trying to do by saying *blah blah blah* and can even use F*** or _|_ kinda thing.. i was like O.o

and she doesn't make any romantic stuff or try to make their relationship more happy.. man.. i find tt guy is really sad.. and he can even say that he spent at least 5-10k over the years just to make her happy.. randomly buy he gifts like psp and phones and blah blah.. and im like.. woah.. and he still said he have to lend her $$ or even the parents $$.. its like omg de pathetic..

i am really lucky my girlfriend treats me really well.. i really treasure what i have now too..

but still looking at him.. still makes all man sad.. that includes me too..

when in the past i lost my mind and lost my O level result standard.. it wasn't worthed it.. i know it.. and i regret it.. but there's nothing much i could do right now... all i can do is look at the past and try hard to forget and just continue.. just... pitiful.. yea this is the word..

♥Ran ♠Miki ♣Su ♦Dia @ 9:54 PM

Sunday, December 06, 2009

the weekend is over.

米修米修米修。。。

hmm.. this week was.. rather fast.. i guess..

was in camp.. sick previously.. but the illness stayed with me since last week.. my gastric became worse and eventually had an acid reflux and caused my throat to get burned and i am down with real bad inflammation.. was having real headache and small feverish feeling.. went to see doc and got medicine for inflammation/cough and swelling in nose throat and i don't know anywhere else..

and we went to alvin's birthday party ytd.. hmm.. its really good to have so many friends that are so supportive.. thou u are at times forgotten.. but its good when people still remember the times when you laughed with them together and reminiscing the past.. and here i wonder if one day i ask them out. for a gathering.. how would mine be like.. i guess many will not turn up..

over the weekend.

dear dear came over my place to stay.. i'm glad. i'm happy. but there's always many 舍不得

and to me.. the time together.. may have been 24 hours a day but still.. its never enough..

part of this feeling inside me.. has been stuck for real long time..

this feeling of rejection.. i don't know. but i just realised.. the feeling really.. is very very bad..

the feeling of giving up to ask for things already.. i know its when sometimes.. people should still try.. but when trying gets hard.. its really difficult to even imagine the thought of having the chances to appreciate..

i know this is a sudden part of what i wanted to post.. cause i felt really.. empty suddenly..

from young i have always been.. rejected. neglected.. thou it might be seen at it is this way.. but to me.. inside my heart.. it has always been this way.. i felt very very lonely.. but at the same time.. i feel normal to being lonely. like this is a usual feeling that i won't feel bad either..

im just waiting.. to get over with my nsf life and get on.. i hope my anxiety or depression will really get over... i don't want another blackout time of my life.. my experience had been enough.. i don't want another one..

♥Ran ♠Miki ♣Su ♦Dia @ 9:01 PM

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Weird.

i just don't know whats wrong.. some how.. my mood just isn't very gd.. the sense of rejection sucks.. even thou it doesn't really meant this way.. but the feeling is just that way..

really.. dislikes this feeling..

♥Ran ♠Miki ♣Su ♦Dia @ 11:19 PM