weeks passed.

finally it is april already.

my chest pain finally somewhat got a diagnosis. hope it is this way that my chest hurts with a reason.

this reason is found out after i got to have seen a psychiatrist and he said i have panic disorder and is starting to make me have depression.. so i suppose it is making me feel sad and sort in the past weeks.

just last week i felt up and down for no reason.
like on thurs. i started to cry in camp.. very emotional.. and then the coming nxt day which is friday i cried again and seeked help from the MO but there wasn't any help coming from him either.

then at night finally met up with my poor dear dear that has been worrying so much for me...

sorry ah dear dear.. make you worry le =(
hope the coming week will make you happy le!!
especially at nsrcc for ur big big day!! =)

ok carry onto saturday.. cried when i finally met up with my dear dear again.. din really have any gd slp for the past few days.. waking up too early liao.. and unable to concentrate on much things.. can't seem to appreciate everything that my dear gf do for me.. i wonder is it me or wad..

but when she cried i could still feel a little sadness.. but it doesn't make me superbly sad.. somehow i was numb.. =( but still.. we hanged out. had some fun in a way.. hope she's feeling alright.. and went to see DFC promotions at heeren. ok their songs they composed is real nice!! i like them really =) take a chance to listen at least and maybe buy their EP!! show them support!! we nid to show support to singapore's artiste isn't it? and they are doing gd too!! they have good voices and things.. but of cuz. bands are meant for live shows.. not just thru discs!! try to get a chance to listen to their live concerts! =)

den sunday.. ok.. this is where my mood seriously turned numbed..
i duno what happened again tt day.. only know my dear sufferred a lot again.. even went to see some chinese god to pray for help for me and somehow maybe it worked out.

my dear ahz. dun be so sad.. ok?

den den.. today.. went to camp. this time i felt nauseatic when i start to having the thought of getting myself dirty and sorts again.. damn disgusting feeling.. and thought of goin to report sick to MO.. and then halfway, i vomited at a drainage area... =x
den den. saw mo and took mc and went home to rest.. on bed i can't really fall aslp but around 30 mins or 1 hour later i fell aslp but still i woke up suddenly again.. and then decided to go see a specialist and finally got hold of everything of what is goin on with me.. hope im doing gd and alright..

ahhh.. i duno why feeling slight dizziness when concentrating at things too long and i can't seem to remember much now.. >.< maybe im just too tired to concentrate. hope my slp will get better bah.. tmr still have to endorse MC and still i have to see that 1WO gautama. omg.. help..
hope i will get out of there ASAP!

and thanks mum. i felt that u did a lot for me... thanks.. this i couldn't say out. hope one day. u will feel it too.. >.<
and to dear dear.. im goin to be fine de no worries =)

♥Ran ♠Miki ♣Su ♦Dia @ 8:51 PM