i am feeling pain where i don't know how to continue. i never liked falling in love. being in love has never brought me happiness. im just sinking every time im in one.

my tears drop down thou i dun look like im crying. it hurts so so so damn much.

even my bones in me hurts. nt only my heart. haiz.

im frozen in between time again. i duno how to move on. like 3 years back. i nv grow up at all in my ways of facing my feelings. so sad. why couldn't i grow over time?
i need a hug. a warmth. a smile. and what else. i've never been hugged. since. i am 3 i think? i never felt the warmth of it. never felt the happiness of relying someone.

when will i ever be relying on that someone.

if there really could be one. i can only say. i need a reason, a cause, a motivation to move on 1st.


she can't treat me as a bf. i can't force myself on her. i can't change her decision. im just a best friend type of guy. i duno how to make girls that i like happy. im just some what a failure. haiz.

save me from what i am right now. i need. to end this feeling. it sux.

silence in me has already been static in my heart.
i always wonder if love is an art.

where people fall and sink in deeply.
and i always feel it so painfully.


i need to get over it. i will get over it. たぶん(tabun)

♥Ran ♠Miki ♣Su ♦Dia @ 2:28 PM