"Avril's Asset here!!"

Monday, December 29, 2008

hmmm..

somehow.. lately.. i've been feeling more pains.. maybe due to walkin up stairs more often in a faster pace?? + rushing around making my body feeling more pain le.. today oso rather painful..
*i hope someone will notice and finally get to come sayang me.. =(*

hmmm.. my gf getting sick soon.. and i suppose im getting too heaty le.. havin too much fried kinda stuffs liaoz.. >.<

must cut down on such foods.. nida take care of myself yea?? i still nid to make sure my gf gets to lean on me when needed ahz..

*and dear dear.. dun be angry over things like this liao ahz.. or rather bu shuang.. its somewhat making things difficult for me too =(( i dunwan dear dear to be unhappy... just let me know what u want me to do. i'll make things short and simple.. ok?? >.<*

and from now on i'll keep my mouth shut in a better way.

waitin for this wednesday and friday!!!!! >.<

♥Ran ♠Miki ♣Su ♦Dia @ 10:28 PM

Sunday, December 28, 2008

hmmm some days have passed by.. my appointment reaching finally.. i suppose its gonna be the time i am gonna get the result of my body condition which i am all the while unable to understand what is seriously goin on wrong with my body..

as i have been feeling weak for weeks to months all the the while =(

and yet i have been having fulfilling and fun life with friendly and important people around me..

and with dear dear of cuz!!

and have been staying with dear dear a lot of hours!! feels so nice lor...

and yet lately.. i've been getting more and more relying to dear dear le.. ahhh.. weird kinda man i am yeah~? >.<

another week is ending.. the the new yr is closing.. and our months together are increasing..

i hope i have made our time together happy all the while.. and it will be happier as time pass by!!

will i OOC? thats a new thing i've been thinking.. hope life don't change too much =) i need time to adapt too.. >.<

♥Ran ♠Miki ♣Su ♦Dia @ 1:40 AM

Monday, December 22, 2008

okay...

lately i have been having more serious chest pain atks.. 2 weeks is hall endure.. by then it should be the time they find out what is the problem with me =(

and hmmm today course started.. life as a trainee started.. hmmm.. seems boring.. hahas..
life as an Auxiliary staff much nicer.. im a lazy man.. nt a chiongster.. but.. i hope i can get used to the life there as a technician trainee.. as the benefits are better and life seems much meaningful i suppose?? >.<

and.. im so anticipating to this coming wednesday!!! gonna have a half day...

plans will be..

finish work and go home bathe and change and prepare..

items to prepare.

some clothings.
harddisk with lots of shows.
camera if any.
jacket.
anything that brings fun!
last but nt least.. a smile to be brought everywhere!! =)

ahhh... im so hoping for the time to pass faster now le lor... >.<>

*7 yrs. pls get by faster.. i wanna get my ass out of being an NSF!! and start work soon!! =( so that i can be with my dear dear sooner!! >.<*

♥Ran ♠Miki ♣Su ♦Dia @ 9:40 PM

Sunday, December 21, 2008

hmmm.. another weekend ended le..

=(

and still i miss you the moment i realise u are gonna go home soon.. lols..

hmmm.... and and..

wanted to go for lesson.. end up nv go. due to taking care of baby made my mood sian diao cuz i really wanna spend time with my dear.. every weekend oni got like so limited hours to be with dear dear and yet this few hours make me have to stay with some other kinda things.. make me really not in a gd mood.. but what to do.. im an "uncle now"

i have to do wad i AM supposed to do lor. =(

hmmm.. had ice cream over a show.. nt bad.. we both love it!!

ahh.. i really really WAN MY DEAR DEAR TO BE WITH ME!!! =(
*i love you dear dear~~ ^^*

♥Ran ♠Miki ♣Su ♦Dia @ 9:08 PM

hehe.. here i am bloggin right now.. =x

hmmm.. this morning my dear dear came over super early!! cfm she nv had enuff slp the previous night ahz.. >.<

went to had breakfast together =)

long time nv had breakfast outside in the morning during weekends le!!! hehe.. still nt bad.. but i find that the standard of the noodle dropped le.. nt as nice to eat le =(

and.. hmm.. something i am bothered abt all the times.. i dun quite like it when i lose my private time i was supposed to be spending with my dear.. and ending up doing something else in between.. really.. a very spoil de feeling.. zzz nt nice at all de feeling.. ya.. thats all.. maybe latr in the night i'll do another post..

dear dear cried just now.. haiz.. for a reason i can't tell why.. must be she is in pain somewhere i duno.. >.<

i needa be better i suppose.. =(

♥Ran ♠Miki ♣Su ♦Dia @ 3:24 PM

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

today is a bad day..

last night while i was slping.. i was so fucked by some duno wtf nightmare with some kids with deformed bodies and one that i rmb-ed so clearly is like some kid of like 1 yr old and the head is like super big around 1.25 bigger than normal babies den nvm.. the top half of the head area is deformed till its flat on top and trying to climbs stairs and it fell off from the top..

and in the morning.. my dear girl wasn't feeling well.... told me she goin to take mc and rest more..

i supposed that she hoped i will take a rest at home since im nt feeling perfectly okay too.. but somehow it wasn't read like tt and i went to camp for work as usual.. and that is enough to make me feel bad whole day.. especially when she told me she is in bad mood.. and tell me things to make me feel no where better and somewhat i feel worse.. for the whole day..

everything i do doesn't seem to feel right.. i can't do things with this kind of attitude.. this super emo-ed attitude.. *practically everything in r/s makes me feels damn bad when its not in proper track at all.. * can say im a super stupid idiot that duno how to think well when im in a r/s.

finally off work hours.. i tried as fast as possible.. i tried to climb stairs quickly.. tried to run from mrt to home.. tried to run and get some sushi for her.. cuz she having some hunger.. i hope she will take something light b4 she has her meals cuz of i suppose she will haf gastric by the time she gets some proper lunch and if its empty it will make her stomach feeling worse.. i hope she understands how i feel and for what are the things i do..

and.. some ppl that told me that how much i miss someone doesn't seem to face with the actions i have.. i suppose.. to miss someone is not like that bah.. maybe to me my loving someone is nt that kind of missing.. maybe im nt supposed to be a gd lover.. i can't support full abt of love.. cuz my actions to seem to meet with my words..

i seriously miss her.. i am like practically can't think well when im nt with her and she is doing something or is in trouble and i would seriously hope im there to help her out as long as she is willing to allow me to.. im nt someone who says i miss her and will be able to pop to her side all the time.. its a bit.. tiring.. be fair and be serious.. there's so much things in this world almost all the things that u want to do and yet there are all sorts of reasons to make them unable to do too..

apparently.. i need to stand in other's shoes and others needs to stand in my shoes too..

i suppose im immature?? or am i.. not gd?? i need an answer somehow.. i hope my dear understands..

this is nt supposed to be a problem.. lets nt make it a problem.. my dear dear is supposed to be happy with me.. unless.. being able to miss someone and nt being able to meet ALL TIMES is a problem.. i think there's no man in this world that is able to do it.. especially man of this era.. especially those in army too..

*i hope u know.. i din mean anything to make u feel unhappy at all.. i need you to be happy for my happiness. you are the source of my only reason to be happy, for without know, there's no space for this word happiness in my vocabulary*

♥Ran ♠Miki ♣Su ♦Dia @ 9:11 PM

Monday, December 15, 2008

monday passed by like this..

1 more day in army over again.. =)

and.. de same kinda shits as usual yeah..

hmm... and i am wondering if this kind of playful attitude will make me last in the r/s..

thou nt always playful.. but im playful yah.. i can be stern at times too.. >.<

but im most of the time an emotional based mammal.. >.<

*i miss u a lot.. so much my heart is crying inside.. and i can't help it nor giving it tissues..*

♥Ran ♠Miki ♣Su ♦Dia @ 9:38 PM

Sunday, December 14, 2008

hehes. spent a WHOLE lot of hours with my dear!!!

im so happy.. =)

for the days earlier.. =) have all been super happy ones.. im sure these are memories enough for me to be super happy for my whole life down the road..

and i've come to know what is being in happiness.. cuz i known and found a way to make my own happiness.. to believe that i will have happiness and i WILL have it!! =)

ytd did very fun thing... which is that we went out together buying each other's clothings + trying to get from top to toe!!!!! >.>

so fun!!!

hahas.. get to see dear dear change to different kinds of clothings that will let me have a different look onto dear dear.. and dear dear looking at me changing to different kinds of clothings too.. and she enjoys doing that a lot!!~ =)

*
smiles,
laughter,
hugs,
kisses,
are none more important if there is not having your existence and the feelings of u being by my side.
*

this is something i've started to grow and think deeply about too..

i hope the difference in me from the 1st day u have came to know me.. made a difference.. and made u look into and know me more..

as what i've did.. and the thing i did is that
i've learn to understand more abt you.. and to be in love which of what i know is... to accept who you are.. and i love the you being you!!! =)

and i hope dear dear.. u will accept me after getting to understand me more and more..
cuz for this is me.. the me which i feels so happy and feels like a more important existence to you. this me. which is so loved and loves myself when im having you by my side..

* as again.*
*i love you*
*more and more everyday!!*

♥Ran ♠Miki ♣Su ♦Dia @ 9:53 PM

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

another tiring day..

did a lot of things today.. carrying packaging.. moving things. like some coolie but just a little slackier cuz no nid move too heavy but still need to carry many things..

and one thing for sure.. tmr i'll get down for singing practise and let them know abt my body condition and say i don't think i'l be coming for continous training for pg le.. i can't perform when my singing is limited by my breathing..

i'd rather spend time with my gf when i can lor =(

this week is gonna be fun.. pls don't come out with any serious problems with anything crap bahz.. >.<

as for back home today.. when im really tired too.. did so much shit things today..
and the most crap part is where my dinner at home.. my family did this to me once again and its AGAIN~... no veggie left for me.. loads of bones left.. okay.. i'll say this officially and seriously.. i nv feel like im ALWAYS a part of my family.. one e.g. is today.. they nv bother who nv gets to take their dinner yet and just take everything for their own.. win le lor.. im nt eating liao.. no mood look at bones and little amt of meat and nothing else to eat.. and whats worse.. its already when everything is cold.. nothing gives me the appetite..

*dear dear im missing you madly lah!! >.<*

♥Ran ♠Miki ♣Su ♦Dia @ 7:53 PM

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

haiz. moodless diao.. i tried to blog abt today and a button combination of Cntrl + A.
made everything went missing..

dear dear. dun be too sad with working.. there are times when it might be a bit annoying at work..
but don't be too depressed.. cuz there's me supporting you.. and im alright one.. cuz still get to see dear dear in the end of the day in one piece.. and i dun wish to see u having any problems.. hope ur leg are not in much pain.. see u walk today like a bit weird weird one.. must be due to ur fire drill exercise.. i din wanted to say cuz i know say le oso nt much use.. but i just wanna say.. pls take care ahz..

dear dear take it easy with work ppl make blunders at times be it the working people or the ones being served.. and there are almost all kind of reasons with why some people get simpler job and some get tougher ones.. think of it in a better way.. it just proves that u are more capable and one day it will make u a better person, as u are able to handle things that any other will nv get to face in their lives..
i may be saying redundant things.. but i just want dear you to be feeling better.. there's no harm with doing a little more.. cuz its responsibility mah.. there are times when ppl look at ur effort done.. ppl will know what kind of person u are.. nt just because you do thing well.. just that u show ur effort at the right time too =)

hmm.. dear had dinner over at my place today.. just a very typical meal of a chinese household..
hope dear dear din find it too simple.. my hse is a very normal hse.. so.. can't expect anything much.. but just to say.. this kind of dishes makes me feels like im home.. and i like it in a way. =)

today i had quite an amt of times of chest pains again.. i am wondering why is it causing the MORE occurances of it again.. hmm..

dear. i miss you a lot ahz. >.<

♥Ran ♠Miki ♣Su ♦Dia @ 9:16 PM

Monday, December 08, 2008

long weekend.
isn't that what everyone always loves..

well. i do love it a lot and i enjoyed it seriously thoroughly..
as i had a long long time together with my love~ =)

hmm... time together seemed too short alrdi le..
spent time over at my dear de place.. its fun definitely to be with ur love one.. waking up in the morning and to see her.. simply makes ur day worth it.. hahas.. XD

a bit too exaggerated.. but somehow its how im feeling bahz.. or most probably our WE are feeling =)

this song.. when i need you.. its simply all the while im needing you~~
>.>

and a gd thing i've begun to notice.. im very happy with my r/s..
i wonder.. how is it like when there's no quarrels in the r/s so far.. and at most oni worrying for each other abt how the other party feels.. and to make sure none of us feels sad..

if one goes on and end up crying.. de other will cry.. and if there's something worth smiling for.. 2 of us will smile.. and laugh.. and makes the funny things funnier~~ XD

make it simple. im indulging in love and happiness for this days..
and im thinking back of how we met till now.. the days pass and progressed.. up to this very day.. we met, know each other.. and now like this.. none of it is bad.. all of it is wonderful.. filled with a meaning and reason.. for us to be together even in a deeper bond..

every goodbyes mean something sad.. but also meant for us that we shud leave ourself to miss one another.. so that we will know how much we will need each other.. to understand how much we need and find out reason to know how much we meant to each other. is when we ask ourself. where are u and how are u doing now..

its a qns forever nv ending in life~
as we where there are times we part,
then we find our souls nv really did..
*i love you dear*

♥Ran ♠Miki ♣Su ♦Dia @ 10:19 PM

Thursday, December 04, 2008

hmmm.. today.. doesn't seem to be very happy as i think it would be..

dear dear wasn't feeling well at all.. haiz.. =(

im feeling helpless.. i can't do anything to help her or make her feel better...

as for work.. its boring today as well.. simple stuffs.. shit job as usual..

watched claymore together in the further up series.. exciting show.. dear dear somehow got caught of the show too.. but i suppose.. hmm..

pls dear. take care..
im way too worried le..

♥Ran ♠Miki ♣Su ♦Dia @ 11:44 PM

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

alright.. quite some days no blog le.. hahas.. someone waited rather long yea..

this few days ago almost get to have dear dear de accompany around me =)

i really love the time spent with dear..

hmmm..

talk abt real stuffs..

ytd felt a lot of chest pains suddenly.. not a very gd sign.. wondering whats wrong..

and.. for today.. nt so much.. but lesser.. thats gd =)

hmmm.. working as and AS is nothing much of a difficulty.. if my army life continues like this..

im totally alright with that.. just that i want my life back as i can walk faster or even run with no problems.. -.-the shortness of breathe and pressure in chest is irritating... =(

and dear dear got too much injuries lately.. =.=
and seem to be having lack of slp the problems.. =(

hope i'll be fine as soon as possible..

as for singing wise.. hmmm... i need to practise as usual.. but im lackin in something.. which is exercise.. =(

thinking whether shud i go for the coming saturday audition.. somehow im getting to be enjoying the life in oeti and the bunch of fellas in there.. >.<

we share jokes SUPER WELL!!!
and there are intelligent ppl.. which i always enjoying being with.. =) hahas.. =x

and...
another month passed by alrdi..
dear dear..
im still so in love with you.. >.<
i know.. ppl say honeymoon period will be short.. and super sweet..
but to me.. our r/s itself its a honeymoon r/s..
will only consist of sweetness that will last me a lifetime..

let us stay in love. .Forever.

♥Ran ♠Miki ♣Su ♦Dia @ 8:04 PM